Marcescence

by Golden Aster

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1.
Try to fix the bedspread get the wrinkles out Push and pull and tuck the sheets tight Pillows stand like soldiers at attention But they don’t stack as straight as I’d like Scrub the dirty dishes til they’re clean Stack them on a shelf til tomorrow night The way they wait for me, so patient I can’t seem to get it off my mind I’m not in control like I thought The sky goes gray whether I like it or not A leaf in the wind don’t get to choose her landing spot I’m not in control like I thought Fill the empty space in the conversation Say the things that I don’t mean to say Send out all the wrong information Pours down around me like the falling rain Can’t talk down a burning wildfire A drain don’t help a flooded riverbed Think you’ve got a grip on everything That’s when it all slips away
2.
Here in the mountains is where I let go The trees lose leaves in the cold And the sky shifts blue to gray to gold Here in the mountains is where I let go Walk a hundred miles, breathe out and breathe in Each thought tethered and woven then unraveled by the wind I carry the countless stories of my kin Walk a hundred miles, breathe out and breathe in Here in the mountains is where I let go
3.
Crest the tallest of the peaks, survey the legacies of old Tread the valley's deepest deep, the boulders fallen far below Pebbles shifting underfoot, mountains shifting high above Canyons ever opening, growing wider with each storm and flood This too shall pass Tend your sore and blistered feet, find a place where you can rest Watch the waning colors flee, the sun is rising as it sets Ever-present waxing moon, how many phases has she run Stars deliver ancient light, the messages of dying suns Nations in your arrogance, appraise the dynasties of stone Crumbling like the shifting sands, the things that you have called your own The smallest patterns will repeat on scales as large and wide as time Heed the message you receive, ever humble to the earth divine
4.
Manatee 05:41
Like folds of silk, the smoothest water The stars collect upon the river And you alone with your pain In my mind I see you clear Keeping vigil on the pier And then a breath breaks the silence The shadows move, like angels fallen Deep scars from some great machine Haven’t kept her from her peace Come up for air So close that you could reach and touch it You watch it vanish into nothing You would never ask for this But for you she surfaced Come up for air The screen door closes and you’re breathless
5.
You’re sitting on a bus Songs running through your mind Staring out the glass, familiar feelings rise Cause the sounds you listen to They’re like everything you ever felt Moving through you But your body’s still and held You’re walking on a path Feels like no end in sight Every step you take you’re leaving more behind Because you listened hard to the tones Keeping you in time to the beat Moving through your blood and bones and vessels in between It’s taking up all of you You’re singing on a stage While the world fades away The heat from the lights barely warm the space But the room can feel the energy hanging on every note That you’re breathing in and out Just to feel your pulse It’s taking up all of you You’re a cup to be filled You’re a home to be lived in You’re a river running out to the ocean You listen to the leaves As they rustle in the wind You hear the sound of the breeze As her breath draws you in
6.
Make this something I can hold onto Like a stone in my hand Just a moment to take in the view Hear the rain meet the sand Like blowing gentle breaths onto an ember So I can gaze upon its fleeting glow I drink the misty air so I can remember The freshness of this place after I go Well this is just the most amazing feeling That I have ever felt inside my chest Like a flock of birds taking flight and diving and weaving Well I don’t know where they’re going, but they’re headed west I’m alive I am well West Kilbride Ring your bells I left the door unlocked while they were still sleeping I barely found the path down to the stream A choir of cascades in a chapel of beeches Showed the winding way out to the sea Well I wish I were not leaving tomorrow The sweetness of the rain, I’d never have guessed The dull ache of my pain, the sharp blades of sorrow Were carving out a space for this in my chest
7.
How Can I 03:13
How can I live with myself In a room with no doors Mark the walls Pace the floor How can I live with myself How can I fall asleep at night With these ghosts in my head Burning coals for a bed How can I fall asleep at night Some deeds can’t be undone Some battles cannot be won And lest I forget Some words can’t be unsaid Captive I’m held by my shame cause there’s no one else to blame I have no choice but to stay Until I choose to walk away
8.
The creak of the gate as it swings The sigh of the boards across the porch The turn of your key at the lock on my door I won’t hear these sweet sounds anymore I would swim across a raging ocean To calm the pining of my heart I would brave the tempest and its motion But you are so near and yet so far The wood that you split stacked outside The songs you would play on your guitar In these rooms all so cold and so quiet I know now it was you who kept it warm
9.
Gray Sky 04:02
My question lingered in the air til you forgot it was asked With you just shifting in your chair moving on to the next task The slightest furrow in your brow, the averting of your eye The turn of the corner of your mouth was the measure of my life What do I have left to prove Always thought I needed you To witness every single deed I do I can’t count how many days I waited for a word of praise Like the thirsty desert waits for rain You are a gray sky You don’t let the rain fall You don’t let the sun shine You are a gray sky With timid moves my tiny leaves grew only towards your light With contortions so unnatural, there was only so much to find Now I’ve outgrown that darkened room and I cannot be tamed My branches bursting into bloom like embers into flame
10.
Leaf 02:40
I am but a tender leaf On an ancient, mighty tree Every blessing I receive May serve to meet a greater need Invite the rain Drink deep the sun I give my thanks And pass them on I do not worry where to go My only task is just to grow My deepest yearning for the light The clearest view of open sky And though my branch Will someday die I’ve served the purpose of my life I am but a tender leaf On an ancient mighty tree
11.
Holy Hymn 05:38
When you walk in the wilderness Through the valley of tears, up the hills of unrest Hear a bird sing her song with ease I hope that holy hymn sets you free Winds will pass through the walls of time Storms come and go with no rhythm or rhyme May your ghosts be unbound to roam And your river of grace guide you safely home When a light whispers to the mind Through the wild night and darkened sky Let it shine Clear a path to the highest peak Like a stone sits still where the waters run deep In the fields where fear may grow May you find a peace in what you don’t know When a light whispers to the mind Through the wild night and darkened sky Let it shine When you walk in the wilderness Through the valley of tears, up the hills of unrest Hear a bird sing her song with ease I hope that holy hymn sets you free

about

After the tours of their respective projects were waylaid by the pandemic, Baltimore-based folk musicians Laura Wortman and Letitia VanSant each found solace in the woods: Laura hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains and Letitia exploring the nooks and crannies of Herring Run Park. In the midst of both societal heartbreak and personal grief, they started writing songs that felt medicinal to sing and play. As friends who enjoyed harmonizing together, they decided to cozy up and record an album.

The results are contemplative, intimate, and easy to take in. Each song shares a different aspect of the healing and lessons they found in nature, with themes like letting go of control, embracing humility, and breaking free of others’ expectations.

credits

released September 8, 2023

Vocals, rhythm guitars, electric guitar, and drums tracked by Ahren Buchheister in Arnold, MD
Auxiliary instrumentation recorded by Nick Sjostrom at Clean Cuts in Baltimore, MD
Mixed & Mastered by Nick Sjostrom
“Holy Hymn” was recorded live at the studio of Don Cherel in Fallston, MD
Fiddle on "Here in the Mountains" by Laurel Premo.
Most drums & percussion by Justin Kruger
Like I Thought, Here in the Mountains, Taking Up All of You, Holy Hymn written by Laura Wortman. All other songs written by Letitia VanSant.
Album cover diorama & photograph by Pete's Papercrafts, album layout by Maya Johnston.

This album was made possible in part by a Creativity Grant from the Maryland State Arts Council.

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Golden Aster Baltimore, Maryland

Like wild streams through mountain forests, Golden Aster’s harmonies wind their way through lush, indie-folk soundscapes. Vocals take the spotlight, supported by unapologetically mellow grooves and spacious electric guitar.

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